Ask Yourself Better Questions
What You're Really asking is rooted in Self-Trust
For so long I’ve heard people say “Who do I want to be in this space?”, or, “How do I need to show up in this space”, rarely do I ever experience people asking such questions such as, “How can I exist in this space?”, “How can I be authentically myself in this space?”. I often recognize quickly the difference between authenticity and need for external validation and sometimes even performance.
When we think of our ‘representatives’, we often are thinking of ways to perform because for many of us it’s how we’ve learned to survive. A skill and belief of something we’ve been taught and become precocious professionals in such fields for the world, that by our adulthood, we have manifested… performing.
I started to think personally about what it means to ask myself better questions.
Questions that weren’t based on external rewards or validation. Questions that begged for intrinsic thinking, self awareness, and raw authentic voice. Can I show up in this space? Though a valid question, it’s quite vague and the answer is of course—duh stupid; said with love of course.
The better question: “If I am choosing to be authentically myself in this space, how do show up for myself here?”, because the reality is I am not trying to pretend to be someone else, or looking for someone else to say good job…(though, a girl needs a little praise besides herself sometimes, okay!) or seeking some type of external validation that will water down my internal motivation here, NO!
Thats not what I’m seeking at all anymore. I want freedom in everything I touch, I do, I welcome, and I crave. My desires to be free comes the questions I ask, and the questions I’m asking come from the awareness and self love I have with myself.
Now that I love me more, it directly impacts the movement and flow
of my being in the world. I cannot pretend I want to be apart of something, or doing something actively that I actually don’t give a damn about. No amount of money can turn my fuck no, into a ‘sure… maybe’, and I say this as a woman with a chronic illness.
In the past I maybe would’ve questioned myself asking or the why and how, and needing to know that information before movement and trust with myself; you too huh?
Well here I am today as an ever-present version of myself that can’t help but be true to myself so when my no is a no, it’s a, fuck no.
I want to leave you with this:
I want you to let it go
The need to curate a carefully, polished, perfect, and perceived version of yourself in all spaces. The internet, career, love (that in itself is a whole other article to write) and wherever else you find yourself performing.
I wish for you to be rooted not in aspiration but instead in the knowing you already are something and the task isn’t to invent a new self for pleasing to the masses, but to navigate the space as yourself. The real you.
Strategy is always required in who we are as we take steps outside, however instead of leaning towards presentation and getting on a stage lets bring integration in what you already have, with where you are beloved, of who you actually are.
Who will you become when you prioritize presence over performance?
Our self preservation and self respect asks, hell, even begs we be present in our bodies because the consequences of being yourself, is to be seen for you. The real you.
with, language & flow.